You often hear mad old fools frothing on about “stringing ‘em up” but it’s not usually about seagulls going about their seagulling business.
Of course, we’re referring to Dr Brian Boughton, who was sentenced to a year’s conditional discharge after being found guilty of shooting one of our feathered friends.
Boughton, who coincidently is also the secretary of Dartmouth Action Group Against Seagulls, apparently killed the gull and hung it from a tree in the belief it would give other gulls the willies and keep them away from his property.
Dr Boughton explained that seagull poo is packed with horrible germs and he was worried for the health of himself and his family – including his daughter,’ever-popular’ Radio 1 DJ, Emma B.
While we desperately try to erase the mental image of Emma B stood in her father’s garden covered in bird doo-dah, we remember some better ways to stick it to seagulls – courtesy of our old school chum Dean. Shooting their beaks off and hanging them from trees was, funnily enough, never mentioned.
So, it’s Seagulls 1 – Mankind – 0. For now…
Posted by Thin White Duke
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