Peoples Republic of South Devon

Terror tactics

At last, some good news for citizens of the People’s Republic.

According to Monday’s Herald Express, terrorism has saved Torbay from a dismal tourist season. Hooray for terrorism.

Apparently, tourism leaders are encouraging businesses (and presumably terrorists) to lift their games for next year.

South Devon Chamber of Commerce chairman Doug Roxburgh observed: “The security scare made people think twice about travelling abroad,” before adding: “We can’t rely on security scares to bring people down here.”

Too true, Doug. God bless the Herald Express and god bless The Terrorists.

Posted by Thin White Duke

September 12th, 2006

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Febrile Fitz # 9

Hullo citizens. Want another look at the comedy stylings of the Evening Herald’s star columnist David ‘Fitz’ Fitzgerald? No? Well, you’re gonna get it anyway.

Slim pickings this week, folks, and no Ratboy or The Enemy either. Really Fitz, this will not do. Nevertheless, it is a good column for fans of Rainman-like observations on doing the school run. We’re never gonna survive, unless we get a little crazy.

FEBRILE FITZ # 9

ONE BUNNYHOP: “Always make sure you are about 20 minutes late, so you have to drive like a complete moron. That burst of speed first thing in the morning will really clear your head. Try to keep a steady 45 miles an hour – 50 if it’s raining. If the speed limit is 40mph, then forget all previous personal bests and really put your foot down.”

TWO BUNNYHOPS: “Glancing off parked vehicles is not an offence, and any other motorists you hit will have an amusing story to tell when they get to their destination.”

THREE BUNNYHOPS: “Those painted signs on the road which say ‘Danger School Keep Clear’ are only put there to keep South West Highways busy in the winter.”

Irresponsible? Pah! Fitz just tells it ‘like it is’, yeah?
Bye children.
Posted by Thin White Duke

September 12th, 2006

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I think you (st)ink

For those of you who have moved on from the Banda machine, and possibly even past bubble jet, printer cartridges can be a bit of a costly annoyance (we here at the People’s Republic have no need for printers - we live life as if we’re in Tron - those neon hats are rather migraine-inducing tho’).

If you’re not into shooting up the cartridge with what’s left over from your Quink bottle or shoving a squid into the machine, you could always opt to get a new one while passing the empties on to Oxfam, British Red Cross, ActionAid, Marie Curie and The Stroke Association. Recycle and raise money for charity, you’ll be a prints amongst men, or prints-ess of course.

All this is from a Guardian piece, we wouldn’t use their material without referencing it - this is a classy operation.
Posted by Cptn

September 12th, 2006

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