Peoples Republic of South Devon

Febrile Fitz # 9

September 12th, 2006

Hullo citizens. Want another look at the comedy stylings of the Evening Herald’s star columnist David ‘Fitz’ Fitzgerald? No? Well, you’re gonna get it anyway.

Slim pickings this week, folks, and no Ratboy or The Enemy either. Really Fitz, this will not do. Nevertheless, it is a good column for fans of Rainman-like observations on doing the school run. We’re never gonna survive, unless we get a little crazy.

FEBRILE FITZ # 9

ONE BUNNYHOP: “Always make sure you are about 20 minutes late, so you have to drive like a complete moron. That burst of speed first thing in the morning will really clear your head. Try to keep a steady 45 miles an hour – 50 if it’s raining. If the speed limit is 40mph, then forget all previous personal bests and really put your foot down.”

TWO BUNNYHOPS: “Glancing off parked vehicles is not an offence, and any other motorists you hit will have an amusing story to tell when they get to their destination.”

THREE BUNNYHOPS: “Those painted signs on the road which say ‘Danger School Keep Clear’ are only put there to keep South West Highways busy in the winter.”

Irresponsible? Pah! Fitz just tells it ‘like it is’, yeah?
Bye children.
Posted by Thin White Duke

Random Posts:

• Big build up
• Devon Customer Care
• Friday night’s alright for fighting
• Post pop pickers
• Arthouse Roundup: Oct 20-26

Entry Filed under: Comments, Society