Neighbour hood watch
So, hoodies then - watch out for them, they’re dangerous.
These days, there’s usually the word ‘hoodie’ printed somewhere on the front page of the Herald, Herald Express or Western Morning News; and for what reason I ask? The hoodie is the latest branding given to any youth that’s up to no good and happens to be wearing a hooded sweatshirt of some description.
Has this country gone barking mad? I’m not sure that these hoodies would react any differently if they were wearing a tuxedo and top hat. Cobblers I say; wearing sensible trousers won’t stop these grotty little oiks from stealing your car. Or your watch. Or your cat.
I doubt that hoodies go through their wardrobe to pick out an appropriate top for criminal activity - “damn, it really doesn’t go well with this knife… maybe I should go with the blue one?â€.
Plymouth’s Herald recently reported that one of the men involved in a gunpoint attack in Plymouth was wearing a ‘grey hoodie’. Seriously if a man walks into your establishment wearing a hoodie and wielding a bloody gun the last thing you should do is comment on his dress sense. There are plenty of ways to dress a turd but it’ll still be the same piece of turd whichever way you look at it.
About fifteen years ago the media preyed on the likes of sports brands like Nike and Reebok, suggesting that you were endangering yourself merely by wearing expensive trainers - just asking for some hooligan to give you a wedgy and make off with them. Hoo-hah!
Blame the music, films and video games, or even blame the parents (if you must); but to blame it on a hoodie is ridiculous. The hoodie epidemic is clearly spiralling out of control, but here at the PRSD we’ll endeavour to keep you up to date with all the latest outbreaks of hoodies so you can avoid any contamination.
Sticks and stones may break my bones but wearing a hoodie is more effective and scares the living bejesus out of honest citizens. So remember kids just say NO! Oh, and don’t wear hoodies. Maybe opt for a blazer or even a packamac; they combine fashion and function. How wizard!
Gen. ‘Buck’ Turgidson
If you liked this story, you could buy us a coffee --------------------------------------------------------------------November 26th, 2006
