The New Statesman‘s perenially wise (if cricket obsessed) Peter Wilby offers lefty-types some solace in the face of the Conservatives dominating the nation’s media next week.
His ‘Panglossian view of the political future’ runneth thusly-eth:
‘Gordon Brown can delay the election until 3 June: the requirement is to call an election no later than five years from the date of the last one, and to hold it four weeks thereafter. By then, the feel-good factor should be at its maximum. Alistair Darling will have kept spending high and taxes low, as is economically justifiable. Signs of recovery should be evident. Amid glorious early summer weather, voters will be looking forward to an inevitable English triumph in the football World Cup, starting a few days later.
‘The Tories, therefore, will get not a landslide, but a hung parliament in which they are the largest party. England’s footballers will go out in the first round, with Wayne Rooney banned for life after strangling a referee. There will be drought and hosepipe bans, followed by catastrophic autumn floods. Later, after a run on sterling, foreign creditors will demand an immediately balanced budget. David Cameron, determined to protect the new Conservative brand, will propose moderate public spending cuts but big tax rises. The cabinet and party will rebel. Cameron will join a “national government” in which he remains PM but Labour holds most ministerial posts, with Ed Miliband, Labour leader, as foreign secretary, Vince Cable as chancellor and Lord Mandelson as business secretary. In a fresh election, a Labour-dominated national government will romp home and the Tories will be reduced to 52 seats.’
Wilby goes on to reassure those that think the scenario implausible by saying it’s roughly what happened to the minority Labour government of 1929-31.
He says: ‘I am sure our revered saviour Mandelson, whose grandfather was among the Labour cabinet rebels in 1931, has it all worked out.’
Hold on a second – a Conservative victory AND a bloody World Cup?! Hmm, think we need a few more convoluted scenarios in which Labour manages to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat – possibly involving the cancellation of all football-related activity to boot (scuse the pun).
The last month has been dominated by the parliamentary debate about welfare reform, and it has been tempting to see this as – finally – a big and public debate about poverty.
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Peter Wilby's Panglossian view of the political future
By PRSD, on Sunday, October 4, 2009
The New Statesman‘s perenially wise (if cricket obsessed) Peter Wilby offers lefty-types some solace in the face of the Conservatives dominating the nation’s media next week.
His ‘Panglossian view of the political future’ runneth thusly-eth:
‘Gordon Brown can delay the election until 3 June: the requirement is to call an election no later than five years from the date of the last one, and to hold it four weeks thereafter. By then, the feel-good factor should be at its maximum. Alistair Darling will have kept spending high and taxes low, as is economically justifiable. Signs of recovery should be evident. Amid glorious early summer weather, voters will be looking forward to an inevitable English triumph in the football World Cup, starting a few days later.
‘The Tories, therefore, will get not a landslide, but a hung parliament in which they are the largest party. England’s footballers will go out in the first round, with Wayne Rooney banned for life after strangling a referee. There will be drought and hosepipe bans, followed by catastrophic autumn floods. Later, after a run on sterling, foreign creditors will demand an immediately balanced budget. David Cameron, determined to protect the new Conservative brand, will propose moderate public spending cuts but big tax rises. The cabinet and party will rebel. Cameron will join a “national government” in which he remains PM but Labour holds most ministerial posts, with Ed Miliband, Labour leader, as foreign secretary, Vince Cable as chancellor and Lord Mandelson as business secretary. In a fresh election, a Labour-dominated national government will romp home and the Tories will be reduced to 52 seats.’
Wilby goes on to reassure those that think the scenario implausible by saying it’s roughly what happened to the minority Labour government of 1929-31.
He says: ‘I am sure our revered saviour Mandelson, whose grandfather was among the Labour cabinet rebels in 1931, has it all worked out.’
Hold on a second – a Conservative victory AND a bloody World Cup?! Hmm, think we need a few more convoluted scenarios in which Labour manages to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat – possibly involving the cancellation of all football-related activity to boot (scuse the pun).
Posit and post below, if you please.
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